Not your Average Spa

For my entire life I've suffered with headaches and migraines.  Over the years I've tried a variety of different techniques to tackle the pain: medicine, yoga, physical therapy, chiropractic treatments, stretches, breathing techniques, special diets, you name it!  While I lived in Singapore my mom and I would religiously visit our local reflexology friends at Causeway Point and get weekly foot and back massages which seemed to be helpful (plus, who doesn't like a good rub down?)  So, when our new friends here in Huangdao told Jordan and I that they'd found an AMAZING place for reflexology we jumped at the opportunity to test it out.  We woke up this morning pretty stoked for a 2 hour, 60RMB massage (less than $10 per person!) However, we were sorely mistaken about what this 'massage' would entail.  

We began with a pleasant foot soak in tea infused water, while our feet were soaking our backs were gently rubbed by two jolly looking Chinese men.  We then sat back in our soft recliners and sighed peacefully while they rubbed oil over our freshly cleaned feet.  Then it began...

While punching our feet and laughing as we tightly gripped the lazy boy arms in pain, the Chinese men proved to be much stronger than their tiny physiques let off.  I remember thinking the first few rounds of foot reflexology in Singapore were painful after not having been in a while, so I decided I needed to toughen up and try to enjoy this 'massage'.

After about 50 minutes of the foot massage, I had begun to unclench.  We were then ushered into the next room and asked to lay face-down on the massage table.  Being spoiled by the Singapore American Club and the Houstonian Spas I was slightly disappointed at the lack of pre-massage dips in the sauna, freshly cleaned long white robes,  lavender and eucalyptus oils, and soothing music to accompany my full body massage, however I decided I could survive getting a back massage in my jeans with my face pressed into a questionably 'clean', mildewy scented towel.  I was determined to enjoy the back massage because my headaches always seem to temporarily subside after a good massage.  

While I did feel completely satisfied with the back massage portion, I became slightly nervous when I thought I was done, and then looked over at Jordan who had somehow lost his shirt and had glass cups stuck to his exposed butt.  I watched for a second as Jordan's masseuse lit a fire under each cup and quickly inverted it on Jordan's back creating some sort of giant hickey.  I asked Jordan how it felt and he seemed perfectly content so I decided if he could handle it, i could too.  

A diagram of how cupping is performed.

The skin gets sucked about an inch into the glasses. There is a feeling of sweet relief when they are removed.

Little did I know that Jordan's circulation is much better than mine and he therefore got to skip the 'scratching' part of the experience.  I was asked to take off my shirt and lay face down on the table while my sadistic masseuse used a tooth-less comb type object to literally scratch my back for 20 minutes.  He smiled and told me this will make my headaches better- yeah we'll see!  After the scratching came my turn for cupping.  While Jordan and most other people say that cupping isn't too painful I'm going to go ahead and liken it to waxing;  After the first 5 times or so it's not that bad, but the first 5 times you want to cry and slap the person inducing such pain on you.  I tried to go to a happy place, and that happy place did in fact look a little bit like the Houstonian Spa, so I was a little bummed to open my eyes and find myself still in a smelly room with 10 glasses fire-sealed to my neck, back, butt and legs.

All in all, we survived and I'm going to try to keep an open mind.  If I miraculously feel brand new tomorrow (which I was promised) then perhaps I'll go back, and after 5 more sessions I will be convincing all of you that scratching and cupping is the wave of the future.  Otherwise, brace yourself if you ever happen upon a Chinese 'Spa'. 

Notice how Jordan's marks are nicely shaped and his back only looks slightly strange?

Now, draw your attention to my back which looks a bit like I was run over by a bus.